I have been in a weird funk of sorts lately. I seem to go through this phase every so often where I feel very insignificant and inadequate. It feels like no matter how hard I work or put myself out there, it is met with disappointment or frustration on the other side. I don't need people giving me lip service or blowing smoke up my ass, but every once in a while, some encouragement and words that are uplifting would be oh so great. Just to be reminded that there are people who support and love me.
I keep telling myself as of late that it isn't about what people think of my efforts to be a good, no great, mom, wife, friend, daughter, sister, etc., but it really comes down to reminding myself that I am the Beloved. Therein lies my strength and hope and joy. But, if that is simply the case, do I stop expecting or wanting that from those I love, therefore, eliminating any sort of disappointment of not receiving these words of affirmation? I don't know the answer for sure.
Do you ever just want to take a break from life? Whatever that would mean. Not even a vacation necessarily, though I would not pass it up. Sometimes I think it would be great to just have a button to push that would take you to a place where you don't have a schedule, where you don't need to think of all of the financial issues, where you could experience freedom, peace, joy, sleep, great food, and awesome company . . . and then when you feel full and rested, you just push another button and voila, you're back in the game.
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